I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize