I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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