All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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