spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
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