In America we eat man semen.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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