dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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