just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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