I'm really into asian looking animals
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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