thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
