absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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