so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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