That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
