I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
