Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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