Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
