Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
