While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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