i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize