Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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