i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
