take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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