I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
