I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
