You can't special order awesome
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
