I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you win again, gameday.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
