i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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