my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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