just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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