Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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