so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
