Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
