i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
