is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Watching her eat just hurts me
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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