clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Randomize
