I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
