i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
