We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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