She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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