Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
