Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
