And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
