My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
