I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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