im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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