I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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