2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
