in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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