one two three fourrrrnication!
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
