So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
