After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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