We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
