big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
