At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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