A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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