i jhust puked up my retainher.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize