I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
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To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
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We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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