he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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