no. you can't hotbox the world.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
