I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
