I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
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what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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